No Sleazy warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixers that turn them into sealy centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture. |
Xena's memory was not damaged or...
...what was I saying? |
No Bible myths or Icons were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture. |
No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However a few Driads lost their heads. |
Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables. |
Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg however suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias. |
Argo was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena. |
No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap. |
No Hollywood Producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture. |
No ribbons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several of them are being treated for motion sickness. |
TV Guide Listing: |
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In order to stop the evil, and now immortal, Velasca (Melinda Clarke)
from hunting down Gabrielle, Xena must unleash an even more depraved
immortal to vanquish her---Callisto (Hudson Leick).
Ephiny: Danielle Cormack. Solari: Jodie Dorday. Xena: Lucy Lawless. |
The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherance to an otherwise valid belief system. |
TV Guide Listing: |
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Xena (Lucy Lawless) has 24 hours to prevent a warlord from plundering
one village, and the world's biggest giant from destroying another. Ah,
all in a day's work.
Hower: Murray Keane. Minya: Alison Wall. Gareth: Jim Ngaata. Gabrielle: Renee O'Connor. |
No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delacy in select cultures of the known world. |
The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture "Court Jester". |
By popular demand "The Executioner" will bring back his comfortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors. |
Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses' ship was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. |
To show sympathy for the Horde, "Kaltaka" was only served on request during the production of this motion picture. |
Cecrops "Joie de Vivre" was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. |
No cheries were harmed during the production of this motion picture. |
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